Is it truly possible to be body positive? Body positivity has been preached and thrown at women in an attempt for us to love our bodies just how they are, but can we really? I try… I really do, but at the end of the day, I’m always going to find something I don’t like about my body. No matter how many sit-ups, push-up, or any physical activity I do, those ‘issues’ aren’t going to go away. (This is what happens when your belly get stretched out from carrying a child. It’s what happens when your boobs go from a full D to an overly full I from feeding said child. Aside from surgery, there’s nothing I can do to tighten everything back up.)
I try not to think about my boobs being ‘stretchy’ now, but the truth is I do… and I always will. No matter how much I try to force myself to be body positive, my boobs always pop into my head, and I immediately start thinking of how much I’d love them to be perky. So, for me, body positivity just isn’t the right approach; it almost seems laughable to think that I would ever accept everything about my body. This is when I stumbled across body neutrality.
Body neutrality is the process of stopping the negative thoughts. When you feel one of those negative thoughts creeping up inside: stop, take a deep breath, and think of something less hateful and more neutral. For example: “My boobs aren’t what they used to be.” comes out as negative and makes me feel depressed that I don’t have porn star boobs. So, I stop myself, look at my boobs, give them a squeeze, admire my nipple bling, and tell myself, “These things fed my kid and the hubby still likes them, so they aren’t all that bad.”
Basically, it’s the simple task of looking at the bright side. My boobs aren’t perfect and they will never be porn star quality, unless I have surgery, but they’re still pretty awesome boobs. I can never fully be body positive, but I can be body neutral – I can choose to not be negative.
Now that I’m mindful and choosing to push the negative thoughts aside, replacing them with neutral/nicer thoughts, it’s time to give myself some self-love.
In today’s world, everyone is all about the selfie. I’ve heard the arguments that people who take too many selfies are narcissistic and petty. However, I tend to disagree. If you take a picture and you think, “Damn, I look good.” Share that sucker. If it makes you feel good, do it.
I’m not photogenic. I either smile weird, my eyes look wonky, or the lighting makes my skin look like crap. However, with the wonderful addition of filters to apps like snapchat and instagram, I can fix the lighting issues with one touch and, voila, weird skin issues fixed. 🙂 So, snap away. Rock that selfie. If there’s somewhere that you absolutely love to take pics at… do it! My favorite place to take selfies? The tanning bed. I know, I know, too much tanning is bad for you – this is why I don’t tan often… and yes the pics are SFW. The only thing I ever post is from the shoulders up. You won’t find any NSFW selfies on any of my social media feeds. There’s just something about that glow from the bed that makes me look hawt and feel sexy as hell. So yeah, I’ll share a pic of me feeling sexy because when I mentally believe it, it will boost my confidence and makes me feel awesome.
BTW, I’m not telling you to go out and flood your social media account with millions of selfies. Everything in moderation, people.
Okay, we’ve mastered the selfie (or at least got it to the point where we like it) and have posted our pic to social media. You’re feeling good about how hawt you look, and you’ve gotten a few ‘likes’ on it, when a fellow lady-friend makes the comment that you’re just craving attention and being a “social media whore”. Your first reaction may be to go off on this jealous psycho because she posts filtered selfies ALL DAY. However, take a step back and a deep breath. You posted that pic for you. If others like it, fine; if they don’t, that’s also fine. Delete her comment (whether actually delete it or forget about it is up to you) and move on.
Ignore the haters and don’t be one yourself. It’s perfectly fine to admire someone else’s beauty without feeling jealous. We have to lift each other up, not put each other down. We’re all different, and each have our own attributes that make us, well, us. Do what makes you feel sexy. Do what makes you love yourself. Like I said, you’re never going to love everything, but if that one pic makes you feel like you owned it, then rock it.
You do you. Keep those thoughts positive and as always,