The Double Standard Dogma

No shirt, no shoes, no service… but on ladies’ night, no shirt gets the good looking ladies free drinks. A female going out with her girl friends is perfectly fine, swap those ladies for men and she is now a slut – regardless of whether she has sex with any of them or not. A male goes out with a group of females and no one bats an eye. A female cries – she’s just being a girl; a male cries and he’s being weak. A female exposes her nipples and everyone loses their minds; a male does it and it’s no big deal. A female chooses to not wear makeup  – she doesn’t care about her appearance and is a slob. A male wears makeup and he’s  a sissy.

Need I go on?

It’s blatantly obvious. The double standards are EVERYWHERE, and I’m tired of it. One that irks me the most is that females have to keep up a certain “image”.

Growing up I was always told that it didn’t “look good” for a female and a male to be alone… unless the two were married. I’ve never once heard someone tell the male that it didn’t “look good.” It was always viewed from the female’s perspective as not good. It didn’t matter what the two were doing, it was wrong. Yes, this even applied to dating; you were never to be fully alone. Now, I’ll admit that I’m okay with that for young teenagers and their raging hormones – I remember my teenage years all too well. However, when we are talking about two consenting adults, what does it matter what they do or don’t do?  Do people honestly think that two people cannot be in the same room without having sex?  Do you not think women are not capable of telling a guy that they don’t want sex (yes I understand that some douchebags do not understand what no means. I’ll cover that on a later post) or that we just exude some kind of attractant that drives all men wild?  I mean, thanks for the compliment? I’m glad you think that I’m so hot that all guys just can’t control themselves around me…


…but let’s be real here.

I’m a happily married woman, but I still have male friends that I hang out with… alone. *gasp* When someone tells me that my husband should always be with me when hanging out with my male friends, I laugh in their face. “But it doesn’t look good.” “It doesn’t matter what you’re doing. People will speculate.”
I don’t care if it’s a relative, a church member, or a stranger. I WILL laugh.
Let’s clear the air about how I feel about the whole “it doesn’t look good” thing…


My husband knows what I’m doing, where I’m going, and who I’m with – not that it matters, but I’m open with him about everything. I’m not trying to sneak around, and I’m not going to lie and say that another person was with us just so you’ll feel better. (BTW, why do people think it’s okay so long as another person is there?  If you’re one of those, allow me to put another heathenish thought in your head… have you never heard of bisexuals? Omnisexuals?  Threesomes? Yeah, it happens, people. So, three people alone in a room, or two people of the same-sex, doesn’t necessarily “look good” either.)

“She’s good now. She’s not alone with just ONE guy.” 😀



Now that your head is reeling from the fact that you now realize that no matter who is in that room it can “look bad”; let’s move on to what the issue really is. Do you know what that is?  Well, it’s quite simple actually. Keep your nose out of others’ business and there will be no way to speculate about anything. Nothing can “look bad” when you aren’t looking. Adults have the free will to do as we please, in case some of you may have forgotten. It doesn’t matter if you think what they are doing is wrong. If it doesn’t involve you, it shouldn’t concern you. There are plenty of kinky things out there that married couples get involved with that, so long as both partners are fine with it, is perfectly fine… and none of your business. (I’ll cover all that fun, kinky stuff in a later post.)

Moving on…
It would take all day to cover all the double standards that women face, but let’s not forget about the men. I fully realize that you are victim to the dreaded double standard dogma as well. I just want to take a quick moment to let you guys know that your penis doesn’t define you. If you want to wear makeup, do it. Need to cry? Let it out. Don’t worry about what others may think. They are the ones that have issues. You be you.

What’s between our legs doesn’t give us any special rights. A woman can hit just as hard as a man. A man can cry just as hard as a woman. Let’s drop the double standards… and keep our noses in our own business. So long as no one is getting hurt or actually bothering you, you have no right to tell them that what they are doing doesn’t “look good” or that they are wrong.

My image, or anyone else’s, shouldn’t concern you. It’s mine and mine alone. If I want to go out with a group of guys without my husband, I will. If I want to go to a nude beach, I will.  Seeing a pattern?  I’ll do what I want because that’s how life works.


I’ll do me and you do you.

Until next time, Stay Frosty!




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